Just Like Your Blog But Much Better

Matthew. 30's. Southern California. I post mostly original content. My jokes are tagged/jokes. This blog is just for laughs take nothing I say seriously. Talk to me.

Girls, I bet I can creep you out with just one sentence.

You dad probably wants to bang some of your friends, and some of your friends probably want to bang your dad.

See, told ya.

I wish someone would think to take a picture of their coffee and put it on instagram

watchin the anaconda video like



*leaks my own nudes*

watching tumblr bloggers fight

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Sounds like someone doesn't like pizza
matthewsagan matthewsagan Said:

That may be the most offensive thing anyone’s ever said to me

how you see the vagina when youre a virgin


ever hear a joke so unfunny it takes laughs from you

Hello, Febreze hotline? Hi. I was just wondering, will Febreze cover up the smell of a murdered corpse?