Just Like Your Blog But Much Better

Matthew. 30's. Southern California. I post mostly original content. My jokes are tagged/jokes. This blog is just for laughs take nothing I say seriously. Talk to me.
  • lesbian: Mom, dad, you know that saying, "You are what you eat"
  • parents: Yes
  • lesbian: Well, I'm a vagina


When I say we need to stop being selfish and go down on eachother more I expect a lot of support I dont need y’all hanging me out to dry.

find someone who loves you as much as kanye loves himself



when your blog gets popular enough to get anon hate



(via africandad)

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Making jokes about a woman's nudes being posted WITHOUT HER CONSENT is not tasteful. I hope at one point you'll realize how immature it is to make jokes like that, maybe if your daughter's nudes ends up on the internet - 'cause we live in a culture where young girls are pressured into displaying themselves as sexual objects whether or not you want to accept that. Honestly I find it tasteless and embarrassing for you that you'd even make a joke like that. Please just consider this.
matthewsagan matthewsagan Said:

If you noticed I strongly renounced the hacking of J Law’s nudes. Then I added a punchline because I joke about everything. Then I went to google and looked up the nudes and drooled on my keyboard.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Stop belittling a big problem. You are just as bad as the pigs who hacked her photos. You are scum
matthewsagan matthewsagan Said:

First of all, pigs are incapable of hacking photos. Granted, they’re pretty intelligent creatures, but even non-human primates wouldn’t be able to complete such a complicated task. (Not even Coco the sign language gorilla) Only a human being could have hacked those photos.

Second, I’m not scum. Scum is actually a collection of small eukaryotic organisms, like algae. So an individual can not really be scum as it’s really a term for a group of organisms.

Whoever you are you really should have paid more attention in biology class.

Asker Anonymous Asks:
where can i see the nude
matthewsagan matthewsagan Said:

It’s on the Internets. The Internets are a series of tubes that connect computers around the world so people can view cats and pornography.

when u thinkin about your crush and suddenly u find yourself


I’m guessing Magneto’s favorite band is Metallica

Not gonna send you anon hate on the internet